How Do We Cultivate Community As Adults? With Mindy Jones – Transcript

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Alyssa Patmos 0:04
This is Make It Mentionable. I’m Alyssa Patmos and this is the show about being human in a world that encourages us to be robots. I invite you to join me as we journey through the mess, the magic and the mania in between. Because what we can talk about, we can manage. This honest conversation extravaganza includes free flowing conversations and high doses of vulnerability to remind you that you aren’t alone. No topic is off limits, and episodes are designed to leave you smarter, aka more self aware than when you came. I am so glad you’re here.

Welcome back to Make it Mentionable. And I’m here with Mindy Jones today, who I have known for years, I’m super excited to get to talk to and for you to hear some of her wisdom. So hi, Mindy, thank you for being here.

Mindy Jones 1:09
Hi, thank you so much. I just have to say again, that you look stunning. It has been many years since I’ve seen you in person. This is so fun. Thank you so much for having me.

Alyssa Patmos 1:20
You’re so welcome. And thank you, thank you. It’s fun. I love this platform for this reason. So let’s start by having you introduce yourself. As always, Mindy’s official bio is in the show notes if you want to check it out. But I want to hear from you as a human. How do you describe yourself? What do you want people to know?

Mindy Jones 1:42
I love this question, actually, because it has evolved over time as I believe that it should, right, your definition of yourself should always be evolving. So first and foremost, I am an Arizona native born and raised right here in Arizona, born and raised in Phoenix relocated my family out to the east valley, I own and operate and all female owned and operated real estate business. So we are a team of 12. We have eight full time real estate agents and four full time staff members, we will serve over 150 families this year, it is a massive source of pride for me. And it’s also the platform in which I get to serve the community not only through real estate, but through building community. So we recently founded a nonprofit called Community on purpose, which hopefully we’ll get to talk a little bit about today. And all the while on the side volunteering, you know, meeting new people planning new projects, and oh, I also have a two year old.

Alyssa Patmos 2:44
You have what? I missed that last part.

Mindy Jones 2:45
A two year old!

Alyssa Patmos 2:47
A two year old. Yes. All that, all the juggling,

Mindy Jones 2:51
All the juggling, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I think the best things that have come in my life come in multiples, right all on top of each other. And you’re just like, oh my gosh, and then you’re like, Nope, this was it meant to be I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. So that’s how I would describe my life.

Alyssa Patmos 3:09
I love there is one line, I want to point out from your bio, because I think it’s important. And it’s talking about your obsession with community. So it says it says in here, I’m on a mission to thrive. Mindy has created a platform for gritty, busy, hardworking women who want to live their best lives personally and professionally by serving through real estate and community. So I want to know, like, what, what got you so committed to community in the first place? Like what built up this obsession?

Mindy Jones 3:52
So I feel like from a very early age, I always thought out who were my people who was my community, I didn’t always feel like I fit into the group that was around me. My parents were married and divorced several times while growing up. And so I think I always was just kind of trying to find, who are my people, where’s my stability, kind of seeking that attachment. And so I it became apparent to me at a very early age that everything that I did created some type of a ripple effect in the world and that if I wanted to find that connection that they needed to go out there and create it and actually be a part of the world. And so, you know, I tell this story. Often when I was in second grade I created. I know, I created a peer mediation group. And what what that meant for me at the time was I made matching T shirts for everybody. And I trained them you know with all my years of professional experience. I training them on how to help mediate problems on the playground. And then when recess would come, I was super excited. And I would like position them or post them, you know, at each corner of the playground, and so that they could be aware if there were any issues and we told the kids go to the corners, if you need some help. I, you know, I tell this story, it’s it’s funny in part and probably at why I wasn’t like super popular, you know, it wasn’t like the cool kid. Um, but I tell this story, because it’s really something that’s been a part of me since before I can remember there isn’t one event that occurred in my life that, you know, really said men do, you need to be connected, you need to find community, people need to understand the importance of this, it is been a part of the fabric of who I am my entire life. And it has continued to show up for me, the more engaged I get in the world around me, the more comes back to me. And I like to describe it as a journey that I don’t always know where I’m headed. But I know that every conversation that I have with somebody, including this one today leads to something and you don’t always know what you don’t know why you are meant to cross paths. Sometimes it’s just so that you’ll say something that they needed to hear, or that they would say something that you need to hear. And so it’s become really a part of everything that I do. And in my real estate work, it comes out by way of supporting nonprofit organizations and mobilizing women back into the workforce and, you know, getting connected with our community, which became really clear during COVID, that was something that we needed to do find out, reach out what do people need from us. And real estate has really been a platform Connect for connecting through community in a way that I never, I never thought was possible.

Alyssa Patmos 6:48
I love it. And and it makes me want to ask because I think there are many different definitions of community, especially in the social media driven world where, you know, all of a sudden, conversation seems to be a one way thing instead of a two way street like it’s supposed to be. So So from your experience, then how do you define community? What does it mean to you?

Mindy Jones 7:16
Community to me is really about connection. And I, you know, met with someone this morning, and he said something really interesting to me that he has been purposefully seeking out conversations and connections with people who he almost thinks are weird, or so different from him that he feels like he can’t relate to him. Because he feels like the more that he does that the more he’s stretching his mind, right? He’s really questioning the things that he knows, do I really feel that way or is that just because that’s all I’ve ever been exposed to before. And it’s very similar to a conversation that I have with my team all of the time, which is, you know, they love being on our team, because we’re, I think a safe space for them, they feel a sense of community. And for them, that means people that all women in varying degrees of caring for other people, whether it’s a spouse, a partner, a dog, a cat, a community member, whatever it might be, and people that are in there working hard, they have bowls, right. So those things kind of tie them together. And sometimes I’ll share a podcast with them or an article or something like that. And they’ll read it or listen to it. And they’ll be like, Why did you send this to me, like the person’s delivery is so different from what they’re used to. And they just feel like they can’t relate. And I tell them all the time, you’ve got to find the message, you got to strip away the voice, you’ve got to strip away the demeanor, you’ve got to strip away the delivery method and and find the lesson. And the more that we can find those lessons in groups that appear very different from us, the more that we stand to learn. And so community is about finding people that feel comfortable, that motivate you. And so sometimes that’s the in the uncomfortable, right, and help you to live the biggest version of your life because you don’t feel disconnected. And I think, especially with women, as they go through their lives, and they’re taken in so many different directions in their world, whether it’s through relationships, or having children or job changes or relocation or dealing with parents or whatever it might be. They spend so much time being in and out of connection, that when it’s time for them to transition, they have to spend all this time getting reconnected before they can ever even do whatever the work is that they’re intended to do for the next season of their life. And so in my opinion community is about staying connected, even though who the people are might change or the areas of focus might change. It is the attempt that trying to keep People connect in. And, you know, for us that Amy Jones Group, a lot of that is about our direct community. So physical, local geography of community. And other times it’s, you know, social service related, so the populations that we tend to serve. And the beautiful thing about social media, you talked kind of about the things that hold you back. But the beautiful things about social media is that community doesn’t have to have geographic boundaries anymore.

Alyssa Patmos 10:28
Right.

Mindy Jones 10:29
And so I think that that has been something that’s really opened up opportunity for people.

Alyssa Patmos 10:34
Well, yeah, and and to add to what you said there about social media, it makes the staying connected a little bit easier, because it can be more passive at times. So I love that I love the thread in general around community having a connection to staying connected, because if I think about, you know, trying to build friendships as an adult, when you know, everyone has their busy lives, maybe one of you is in a relationship, one might not be one might have a kid, the other one might not. And so there’s a lot of things to juggle. And I think about the times when, when, you know, a friend invites you to do something, and you have to plan it three weeks in advance, and then you’re out getting a drink, but like the first 40 minutes of that is catching up on everything. And if you’re not doing that regularly, it becomes very hard to form a true meaningful friendship, because then you’re just focused on on the catch up every single time. And so that was really prevalent to me and in your definition of community is that thread of staying connected? Because I think we feel it even in our most intimate relationships, how hard it can be to do that, at times, it takes so much intention.

Mindy Jones 11:55
Absolutely. And I, you know, I meet with a lot of women who want to get into real estate, or they think that they want to get into real estate, and they’re attracted to my team, because we are all women. And so they’ll come to me, and they’ll say, I’m really, you know, really passionate about getting into real estate, I say, okay, great. Tell me what it is about real estate that you really want, you know, to do. And they’ll say, you know, they like to look at houses, or they I mean, they’ll pick like some components of real estate, which really takes up like half a percent of the time that my real estate agents spend, right in real estate. And so I say, okay, great. Who do you know, that’s doing this career at a high level? Right? And usually the answer is, is they don’t, they don’t. So I’ve never seen people want to so passionately get bashed passionately get into something that they really know nothing about. Right? It’s like, if you’re going to be a dentist, and you really want to be a dentist, you kind of get the general gist of what a dentist does, right? But what I’ve uncovered during my conversations is what they really want is they want to take control of their time and of their schedule. And they think that the only way to do that is to be self employed. And for many, they don’t have a passion or a financial backing to open a restaurant or, you know, build a coffee shop or you know, start a retail store, whatever it may be. So real estate appears to be the fastest cheapest way to become self employed, whether you’re going to be successful at it or not, right, it allows you that that pathway. And for some women, I think corporate has told them they can’t be, you know, family driven and also be successful. And so again, I think they turn to this space. So you know, my issue with that, obviously, is that I want women to be living their biggest best versions of themselves. And if I can tell very quickly that there’s certain limitations, or they have other parts of their life they want to pour into, and aren’t going to have enough time to dedicate to building an entire real estate business, I want to talk about the greater passion projects that they have, and then how I can help connect them there. So this is a conversation that I’m having all the time. And the connection piece comes up when they say okay, you’re right, like, maybe that isn’t the path or maybe that isn’t the only path. Let’s talk about what the others are. And, and they say what should I do in the meantime, like read books, listen to podcasts go in and like how, how do I bridge to the next step? And so that’s really where in my opinion that the gap is in, in service. And the gap is in us listening to women is now they’ve got to get back in to something right. That’s that that’s that 40 minute catch up time getting a drink, right? They’ve got to get back yet. And so I’ll share Oh, we do these networking events. So we have you know, and I had a woman say to me, what is the criteria for coming to the networking event? Like what do you I’m thinking like, maybe cost 10 bucks, like, you know, I like like, What do you mean the crates, tell me more about that. And she said, like, how professional do you have to be and it’s not a perspective that I would have ever thought About because I have a community. But if you don’t have a community, you want to know what your entrance is into the community, right? Do I have to own my own business? Do I have to run my own business? Do I have to be doing what I do for a while? Do I have to have a degree? Do I have to? What are my qualifications that merits my acceptance into this community that allows me to get into this next phase? Right? And that’s where I feel like there’s work to be done.

Alyssa Patmos 15:27
I love that because as someone who builds community, like I run group coaching programs, and so like flourish, for example, is is the newest one and and, you know, people talk about when you’re marketing something, always having to have your ideal client and, and whatnot, but that’s so focused on like, okay, then how do I get the message across to them, but people don’t talk about it in this way, where it’s like, what are they going to be feeling is the barrier to entry. And I think that’s, that’s really important. Because, you know, having grown up in a very religious household, which I’m, I’m not anymore, but one of the things that is so different when you have that is the sense of community, and you instantly know that there’s that shared something and you have an in so that’s really on the leader then to to establish like, the the safety and the comfort of like, here’s how you can you’re welcome in, you’re welcome in like, here, it means is this you? And I think that’s a really, I think it’s a subtle, like a nuanced way, a different nuanced way to think about how we’re inviting people into the spaces that we’re creating.

Mindy Jones 16:50
And the beautiful part of being someone who creates spaces, is that once you’ve been invited in and by the way, cannot underestimate the power of invitation, especially to people who who believe in significance in a world and want to feel significance. I cannot underestimate for you how important it is when someone says, Mindy, would you want to do this many would you want to be a part of this Mindy? Could you be do something here, right? I mean, it gives me the the desire and the passion to throw myself into something that maybe I never would have even done because I was never just asked, right. So I think that that’s an important message for a leader. But as someone who creates these spaces, what’s really beautiful about them is that once somebody is in a community, they can so much easier navigate that community. So I use that example, like with nonprofit work, I did a year of service with AmeriCorps. So for people who don’t know, that’s like the domestic Peace Corps. And through that experience, almost 20 years ago, I learned sort of the ins and outs of the nonprofit sector, how it works, who the big players are, who the people are, you know, all of this kind of stuff. And it made it very easy for me now to navigate that nonprofit world very comfortable with it, comfortable building relationships. For people that have never been in that world, it almost feels like you’re either in or you’re out, you either know about it, or you don’t know about it. And I think that is the perspective of many communities is you’re either in, or you’re out. And the beauty is once you’re in whether by invitation, or exposure, or education, or whatever it might be that you’ve made it accessible to somebody, it then becomes easier for them, it becomes easier for them to uplevel it becomes easier for them to grow their world and it becomes easier for them to invite others into that world and there’s so much power in that.

Alyssa Patmos 18:41
There’s so much power in that and I think about the the worlds that I dabble in, or the communities that I find myself in and and I don’t always think and I think sometimes like you we can self select are into some of these communities as well. So, you know, I’m interested in spiritual things now more than religious and so do I truly think I’m like part of a spiritual community? I think I have a hard time saying that but like, Yes, I am. And, and it’s interesting, because that so often over lapse with like the self help community, I would say or like personal development. But the thing that is so hard and this is this is why I create the spaces that I do is because self help like in general is so isolating, like even that name, which is why I like personal development or personal growth more, because we can’t, we cannot evolve to the level we want to in isolation. We need mirrors. We need to experience ourselves in new ways. And the only way we can do that, you know, there well, I should say there are many ways you can do that. But one of the most effective ways to do that is to be In the company of others, if we’re just trying to willpower, our way to our next growth opportunity, it’s painful, it’s so much more painful than being able to be in community with others. And yet we live in this culture that so often promotes this very, like individualistic view of we have to do everything on our own. And that’s exhausting.

Mindy Jones 20:30
Totally. And it’s not to your point, there are many ways to get from A to B. And that is not the most effective, I am sure that you use many tools in your coaching business. I have done the Strength Finders several times. And it’s one that I relate to, you know, there’s so many of them. And some of them I’m like, I don’t know the graphs the chart like I’m not into that, right, I’m so such a word person. So Strength Finders is like my jam. I’m like, Oh, let me read about me, you know. And but what’s so interesting about it, and I took it several years ago, probably five or six years ago, and at that point, I haven’t yet built my business to the capacity that it is today. I hadn’t been married, I now have been divorced. So that’s married, divorced, built a team had a two year old, like some really massive life changes, cheat, you know, focus my direction of the community work that I do. And so I recently retook it. And my, my top Yeah, my top one stayed the same, really, really about like activating and like creating change, and all of this, the other three changed, and I could see very clearly where they changed. And some of that is around doing things yourself. So there’s certain things that I as I’ve evolved as a leader, and someone who creates community space, there’s things that I just don’t look at any longer like a badge of honor, like someone who says, I work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, just who I am, and don’t give up. Now, don’t get me wrong, I work a lot. And I do a lot, not just work, I live a lot, right? There’s a lot of things that I want to do. But I that is not how I would describe myself, I would not say I work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, like it’s a badge of honor. And I think probably five or six years ago, I would hear that. And to me, especially coming from the corporate space, that’s tenacity. That’s work ethic. That’s commitment. That’s dedication that’s drive that you know, and now as an as I’ve evolved as a leader, I hear that and I’m like, Okay, and what does your whole world look like? Are you spiritually healthy? Are you happy in your relationships are you able to write that just doesn’t sound, it’s not positive to me to hear that’s not sustainable to hear that. And, and there’s other things as you know, as far as like, some of those pieces of the Strength Finders five or six years ago, they would show up to me, like I saw the benefit in each and you know, individual, kind of like the drive of an individual. And now it comes up as I see success through others. I know that if others can be successful, and I can empower their success, I will naturally be successful. And so if I see someone in their holding 50 Things box, you know, their leader, and they’re holding a box and a bag and 20 Hunt, you know, and I come by and I say you let me grab something from you. And they say no, no, I’m fine. Right? I immediately am like, turned off by that kind of behavior. Right? Because we don’t we don’t succeed. The most efficiently and the most fulfillingly within our own box. That’s just not what this world is meant to be is the antithesis of community. It’s the opposite of significance. Right? And that’s just not how I believe that were designed.

Alyssa Patmos 23:45
Yeah, for me, I was just looking up I had to check. I’m not sure I – There are different Strengths Finder ones, and I know like one of them is trademarked. And then there’s like the Gallup ones. I’m not sure

Mindy Jones 23:56
if the Gallup is the one that yeah, that’s the one that I’ve done a couple times. Yeah. Okay.

Alyssa Patmos 24:01
So so I knew I had taken it this year, like just a few months ago. So I looked it up in my, my top one is input. And it’s so funny, because it the first line of it is like your mind is like a sponge, you naturally soak up information. But just as the primary purpose of a sponge is not to permanently contain with absorbs, neither should your mind simply store information. So So I take and it’s so funny, because this is one of the reasons why I create the stuff I do as well because I think that so often, we end up being like intellectual sponges. And if we don’t match that with like using our voice and putting something out there, just like a sponge can get so saturated that it doesn’t clean the dishes, we can’t be effective. And so it’s a strength to be able to absorb all that and it just makes me laugh because I also noticed like the downside of it at times and It’s one of those things that I have to be in community like using the voice otherwise, like, I just become a saturated wet sponge that is just disgusting and needs to be to be out. But I agree that in so in so many ways like with, with these assessments and whatnot, too, we, we get a chance to see how we’re evolving and how it can be applied in in different areas, which I think is great. There, there was one thing that you brought up, and it is around, hold on, it’s gonna take me one second to get back to it. It’s, it’s around this notion of giving, and, and you sound like a person who gives a lot. And so with that, how do you end up balancing? Because I think this is a struggle for a lot of people, but also, especially for women. How do you end up balancing the amount of giving versus versus what’s received? Like, what how do you dance that dancer, what comes up for you there? What have you learned?

Mindy Jones 26:17
So I love that I also don’t use the word “balance” with my team. Because I think balance is a bit of a fallacy, I think balance gives off the idea that it’s like a scale. And life is like a scale. And the ultimate goal is for it to be sitting, you know, like this. And I think most life does not sit like this, right? There are times where you’re going to be more in work. And there’s going to be times where you’re going to be more in your home space. And there’s going to be times that you’re more in your spiritual space. And I like to look at it as a graph. And each graph has like a, you know, a bucket, right. And there’s a The idea is that, and I once saw it represented like a star A star is another really good way to do it. And you’re going to have times where that line of the star is, you know, longer and sometimes where it’s shorter, and you’re five big areas of life that you focus on. And your goal is to get those lines when you look at them over a longer time period to be matched right to where you feel fulfilled where you don’t feel an emptiness, but also where you’ve given yourself the space to know when you do feel an emptiness or you do feel or have a longing for the need to focus some of your efforts. And what I think you’re ultimately looking for, at least I know what my goal in life is, is not so much balance. It is the ability to create a world in which I am able to pivot to respond to those needs that I feel that I have. So for me, a lot of that has to do with my career choices, I want to live a career that allows me to say especially now it’s changed, right? So for now, it’s for me with my two year old, if he were to go into a school environment, or sports or have something like that, and I would want to be there, I would want to have the ability to have set myself up to make that decision. And to put that in place today. I don’t want to say, I’d love to be in your classroom every day, give me six months to sort this out. And then I can show up, like I value the ability to pivot, I want to say, Oh, my soul feels like I need this or Oh, my brain feels like I need this and be able to make those changes. And so for me that freedom, and that flexibility only comes from having a profitable, sustainable business. And so that has been a massive driver for me and continues to be a massive driver. Then when I got divorced, it also became about creating the ability for me to pivot even on one foot or two feet instead of four feet, right. And so because of that it’s about diversifying and creating other sources of income that that was very important to me. So that again, if I needed to adjust where I spent my time how I did that, and then recently starting the nonprofit, I wanted to I want to be able to spend some time there. And so in order to do that and ensure that this business is running well, it means that I need a new body I need a hiring either brain that fills this role to help this thrive while I’m doing this, right. So it’s just that’s how I view balance. I don’t view it in a on a scale and I definitely don’t view it in equal parts. You know what your day I spent two hours doing this in two hours doing that that to me is not balanced. So that in itself has been an evolution and to allow myself the grace To create my own definition around balance, and then really to build a team of women where I discourage the the use of the word balance to be realistic about it.

Alyssa Patmos 30:12
Yeah, I think that’s great. Because one of the things that that I teach all the time is we have to watch our language because the words that we use have way more power over our values and beliefs and our behaviors than we even realize. And so being challenged on language is one of my favorite things. I love it, because it’s easy to fall into lazy language traps. And it dictates so much of how we create our world. And, and you’re right, I don’t tend to think of balance as a scale either, because I’ve realized that, that the giving and receiving piece of that it doesn’t always come back in the same area of life, I’m more than happy to give and, and sometimes there’s a monetary exchange, but in other areas where we’re giving, and we and we get the nourishment back in some other area of our life that like the universe, God, whoever you believe in, knows, knows that you need it there. And I think that’s the beauty of of being able to be in connection with people too, because it opens up so many other opportunities for that sort of thing to happen.

Mindy Jones 31:24
Yes. And I think if you’re really following and listening to, to your needs, and you’ve given yourself some space to feel when you need those areas, the more connected you are. And I think this is what you’re saying, the more connected you are, the easier it is to fill those buckets back up. And the easier it is to find what you need, because you have felt it and you’ve experienced it, right? Like you can’t, you can’t know what you need until you experienced it. And so you you can’t, you can’t close yourself off to opportunities, which is why I have career envy, right? Everyone I talked to I’m like, your drive is so cool. Like, do I want to really do it? No, but like, I want to know about all of it. And I was like, Do you know, you just have this one chance. And I just, there’s so much stuff out there. And I feel like the more you can expose yourself to the more connected you can be, the better you will fill up your your reserve for the days that you don’t have balance. So I talk with my team a lot about that, you know, motive, there’s all these ways of saying this, but motivation only takes you so far to a goal, right? But it’s your, your determination, your your focus, really, that gets you to the finish line, and there’s days that you’re not motivated to do something. But if you have a goal, you’re gonna stay committed, right, that determination. And so in my mind, you look for things that create balance, like listening to podcasts, or journaling or whatever it may be to help you on the motivation days. But you’re also using it to fill the bucket when you’re going back to just determination. And so it’s almost, you know, I talk to an agent and team about journaling. And she said that she you know, she doesn’t really journal it’s not really her thing. But every day she spends a few moments every morning and she does cat she does do like a gratitude exercise. So she’s already doing the exercise. She’s just not putting it down on paper. And she said really, she thinks maybe it’s just because it would take her out of feeling presence, you know, and she just wants to sit and kind of enjoy that. And I said that that makes total sense. But imagine if you got even if you just bulleted it right? You didn’t spend all your 15 minutes on the journal part you just said I’m thinking of these three things. Okay, thank you journal goodbye. And then you gave yourself the time to be present. Imagine the book that you would have to fall back on on the days when you didn’t have the motivation to get up and be grateful.

Alyssa Patmos 33:52
Yes, and in our like hyper-intellectual world. I think we rely on our mind as like this sole source of knowing when our body has a ton of knowing as well you know, there are different ways of knowing things and and we rely on our mind in an over like we overcompensate we think our mind is more is more capable than it is of totally remembering the good even when we’re in the thick of something over here. And having that track record for ourselves of even being able to see that three days ago I was in a different place. Sometimes that track record of being able to go oh my goodness, okay, I did not feel like this three days ago a week ago. So I’m probably not going to feel like this a day from now a week from now no any given time we forget how how we move through emotions. And and then if we don’t have that record, I love that you brought up journaling because I was journal adverse for years, and I’ve talked about it numerous times. Because I think it’s one of the most powerful things, but you have to get over the hump to be able to do. It’s painful, like I couldn’t keep a diary as a kid, because I would rip out the pages the next day, like, I couldn’t go back and see myself in in that way, which has always been interesting to me. But anyway, I love I love what you brought up about having that trail of breadcrumbs for yourself, because it helps us better objectively see what we’re doing in the world.

Mindy Jones 35:32
Yeah, I love that perspective, too. I never really thought about it that way. I have thought about it in like the building up the reserve part, you know, the motivation for the days, you don’t have motivation. But I haven’t thought about it from the perspective of being able to see where you’ve come from and where you’re headed. And I do think that that is so important. A lot of times I’m moving so quickly from thing to thing. And I think if there’s one thing that I tell people to do that I probably don’t do enough of myself, which is really you know, they call it celebrate the wins, or however you want to word it, but really just take like a moment to be like, I created that. That’s cool, right? Like I that is really cool. All that time that I spent in being energized and jazzed about this new idea. Like it came, it happened. It’s a whole thing. Congratulations, Mindy, you did a great job, right. And I just think that when you can take some inventory, whether it’s journaling, or whatever it might be that allows you to look at that I find it most when I write my bios, when Pete when I’m going to speak somewhere, and they’re like, send me a bio, you know, I’ll go look at the last bio I’ve written. And I’m like, that’s not really relevant anymore. I mean, it’s got the basics. I’m from Arizona, I have a kid, you know, I love community and business or whatever. But I’m always doing new stuff. And so I read the bio, and I think, well, what about this, this, this and this, and then when I write it out, I think, wow, look at all of this. Look at all this cool stuff that we’ve done. Right? And it’s in you’re right, I think what I think without having some sense of inventory, it’s really hard sometimes to see through the thick of things.

Alyssa Patmos 37:15
I despise having to write a new bio, like I’m a writer, and I freaking can’t stand it. It took me the when I switched over my site to a new theme, like I took weeks longer than it should have, just because I didn’t want to write my damn back. But –

Mindy Jones 37:34
What is your most proud moment on your bio?

Alyssa Patmos 37:39
When is my most proud moment that’s in there? See, this is like, this is such a most proud moment. Like I think of my of my the things I’m most proud of don’t fit in my bio. Maybe that’s where I struggled. Because I one of the things I’m most proud of is the intention in my relationships, like the intention with how I live my life. And so the things that I’m most proud of are actually like the way that I think about things. It’s the process. And then that like leads to the to the rest of the things that manifesting are byproducts. But it’s always interesting to me to have to have to write that out and think of how do we want to frame myself today. But there’s so I also give it to so many people as an exercise though, because it’s such a stretch to see that you can frame yourself in a new way whenever you want. You can change your bio every day, if you wanted to.

Mindy Jones 38:45
Totally I only ask you that question. Because what I’ve noticed is that when I look at a bio, and it’s no longer relevant in my mind, like I said, the big stuff is in there. But what’s really happening is it’s not speaking to me, I don’t read it. And I’m like, I want to be friends with that person. Like I want to know that person. It’s not inspiring me reading it. And so I think that it’s such a great exercise to say what are you most proud of? What makes you feel like you are a badass, like, what is it about you that has, you know, taken down doors and built this life exactly where you want to be today you’re not at the end of the journey. It’s not over, you haven’t done everything you want to do or created your end person or evolved in the way you want to evolve. But what makes you happiest about where you’ve come to today? And in my opinion, that’s what needs to be in the bio. And some of the best bios that I’ve read have been that they haven’t been this laundry list of stuff that they’ve accomplished or the places they’ve seen or the you know, the people that they’re in connection with. It’s something that gives you a feeling of like this person like I need to be with this person, I need to work with this person, I need to cross paths with this person, I need to, I don’t know what the conversation will look like. And this is a lot about my connection to you, like I’ve known you, right for many years. And so there’s that initial, you know, connection, if you will, between us. But I have been passionately following your development as a human. And it’s because of the words that you put out there and the way that you describe what you’re going through and what you’re seeing. And sometimes it’s not even a word, it’s a picture, right. And it’s the emotion that that evokes that picture. But those are the things that I think are so powerful, about the ability to build connection, it’s your words, it’s the way you show up, it’s it is the importance of the marketing and the design and the you know, just what you’re what you’re putting out there. And that’s within your realm to control, that’s always your round, you really can’t control everything. But that is one thing that you could control.

Alyssa Patmos 41:04
That’s, that’s so it’s such an interesting point. And I had a sort of like an aha moment there. Because, you know, so many people write their bios, and it’s easy for me to write someone else’s bio, very easy talking. But, but it’s because you can see the essence of that person. And when you can bring that in it is it makes a way better bio, I think so many times, you know, we’re rewarded for the things that we do, rather than being rewarded for who we are. And this difference between who we are is not what we do was a major lesson that I had to learn over the past year, and it was painful. So painful, I mean, I realized how much my self worth had gotten tied up in monetary things, just because of how I was raised the culture that we live in, etc. But it’s interesting, because that translates over to what people choose to put in their bio, because it’s so often they’re written towards what’s going to be valued by other people, rather than sharing your authentic self, which is how you get to connection. Totally, absolutely. There was, there was something that came up earlier, and that I that I wanted to circle back to because I feel like when for someone who was able to give so much and create so much and and move quickly through the world to to get output out there. I feel like there had to have been some lessons with boundaries. And I know that is something that people struggle with. So what you eliminate around what do you have to learn about boundaries to be able to, to operate at the level that you operate?

Mindy Jones 42:57
Yeah, so I mean, I can give you I don’t know how this will translate in the world, but it’s just when you say boundaries, this is the story that I think about. So when I first got my driver’s license, I was driving so I, you know, born and raised in Phoenix, and it’s hot here in the summer. And I remember driving and seeing an elderly gentleman walking down the street, and he looked like he was about to pass out, you know, like, he just couldn’t, it doesn’t didn’t look like he could get where he was trying to go. And so I pulled over again, you know, I’m very much the here to help, what can I do, it’s hard for me to see anything in my peripheral and not engaged in some capacity. And, and so I pulled over and I, you know, asked him where he lives and I, you know, put them in my car and I drove them home and I got him to his house and I got him inside. And then he said that he needed to go to the bathroom. And he asked me if I could help take him to the bathroom. And so I remember going and you know, getting into the bathroom and then just like this panic kind of took over me I’m like, I am a you know, 16 year old girl. I don’t know, you know where I am. I just started to drive. I just picked up this total stranger. I have no idea who he is what is now in a really small space. He’s about to take a spate of stuff. I mean, it was just like a very overwhelming situation. And it was honest to God the first time that like anything went off in my head other than just I’m here to help somebody there was never you know, there wasn’t any other thought before then of maybe you should like evaluate the situation. And so I remember calling my mom who’s a nurse and telling her like, Hey, mom, so you know, here’s where I am like this current moment. And of course my mom was like, What are you doing? Like up yet? Like what are you calling calling the ambulance like call the fire department you know? They’re, he’s hot and old, and he needs help and like call it you know, do their and they go like get out of there, you know. And so I I remember this story and I recall this story, often when I think about boundaries, because I am unapologetic Lee engaged in my world. And I believe that the world takes all people to turn. And I think that if everyone was committed to leaving this world better than they found it, we would all be in a much better place than we are today. And I don’t ever want that to change about me. And I want to instill that same feeling and an emotion in my son, who is already I could tell very much of an empath. I mean, he before he could speak, he would notice an eye movement in somebody because they were having some type of an emotion and I would see it, and I, you know, and he would turn to me, and it wouldn’t be able to talk. Yeah, cuz he couldn’t speak. But he would turn to me, like, what’s, like, what’s wrong? What’s happening? What’s wrong? And I would look at him and just say, you saw, like, I saw that, but you saw. And so I know that he has the same view of the world. But when I learned that day, and it that certainly I didn’t complete my lesson of learning that day, but I reference back to it, because I think what I what I started to learn was, you have to help people in the best way for them. And in that case, it was very clear of like, what if this was the example my mom gave? Like, what if something would have happened to him while he was in your car while you were driving him home? Would I have been the best vehicle for his needs at that time? And the answer is obviously no, I could have pulled over on the side of the road, I could have sat with him, I could have called immediately an ambulance, they could have come they would have had oxygen in the in the ambulance, they would have been able to give him the support that we he needed while we were in the ambulance. And I mean, I could have done a better service to Him. And God, thank God, nothing ever happened. But that was the beginning of the learning of like, you have to help people in the best way that is helpful to them, or you’re not doing the best service to them. And that is continuing and putting yourself in it ultimately, right? That ends up putting you into not the best outcome for you. Because what you’re really trying to accomplish is to help. And so that has evolved in so many different ways and has continued to help me have boundaries around what I can actually influence what I am responsible for what’s on me and my heart to carry. And it comes out in my leadership style I want so badly to to help people and to see them live their fullest lives, but I can’t want it more than they do. And I read somewhere one time that the role of a leader is not to light the pilot light, it’s to ensure that it stays lit. Right I just it was you act like you did it. And then I will I will be here I will be your cheerleader, I will support you, I will hold you accountable, I will give you tools, I will give you resources. I can’t want it more than you and I can’t like the pilot life. And through that evolution, I think one you get better at setting boundaries for yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, all of the things. And you also are able to make a bigger impact in the world. So I think boundaries, just like the word accountability, right? People hear accountability, and they stray away from it, when in reality, they should be like running as fast as they can towards it. Because it’s intended to help you get to where you want to be. I think the same thing is true about boundaries, the better you can set them, not only the better off you are, but the better off the outcome is that you’re trying to accomplish.

Alyssa Patmos 49:07
Absolutely. Because if we if not, then then resentment builds up in a lot of ways. And so like as a coach, I definitely had to learn like when I was starting out it was easy to it was like, I want this breakthrough for you. Like come on by can we get there please? But I can’t control that timing whatsoever. It is 100% up to them and sometimes we’re we’re ready for it and sometimes like there’s something else that needs to be worked through first and and if I come in with the pressure of it has to happen today it has to happen now. It won’t happen like I’ve seen it enough now that it comes in like it’s not gonna happen. And so I love that both the quote and and just in general what what we can take away from, from your, your story, which I can’t imagine calling my mom and having to –

Mindy Jones 50:05
Could you imagine? My mom was just probably like, beside herself. I mean, she like it was probably the most terrifying phone call me thank god that’s the extent right among people parents can get far worse, you know, phone calls, but for my mom that was by far the most terrifying phone call at that point that she had ever received for sure.

Alyssa Patmos 50:26
I imagine so, sixteen-year-old daughter, that. So the other thing that came up for me while you were telling, while you were talking about boundaries is going back to creating spaces then is we have this opportunity as someone who creates a space there’s there’s a, you’re you’re holding space for people, then you’re you’re creating a container that says, Okay, welcome in. And here’s what we’re doing. And so if we if we know that we can’t want to help someone more than they want to help themselves, then it almost I think that leads me to our job is to create the space and let people see if they will if they want to come in. And so we have to be a beacon like and share share our truth share story, which women taking up space, sometimes men too, but I experienced it a lot with women, and using your voice and taking up that space. I think it’s so important because that’s what allows you to invite people in so that people can self select and say like, Hey, actually, I do really need this. Would you agree?

Mindy Jones 51:38
Totally. We what I love about the platform that we’ve created, and the clarity that we continue to get around it is that the people that want to work for our team, we often you know, they’ll reach out to us. And they look and feel like the things that we push out into the world. And when that happens, it’s a very satisfying feeling. Because it says yes, we have clarity, yes, we’re showing up in the right way. That things that we’re pushing out there, or the you know, it’s relating to someone like we’re getting our message across, there’s times where people will apply. And I’m like, What did I post that made them think that like, we were the same kind of thing you’re like, really did you like look at our stuff, because if you did, then bam, I some I went somewhere sideways, right? But that typically doesn’t happen. And that, to me is a very gratifying experience. We, we do a live love local program. And through her eyes program, these are all professionally produced series that show our support for the local communities show our support for the women who built the East Valley, we do a quarterly women and leadership breakfast, where we invite people from all sectors and all industries at no cost to come together and hear from a speaker have kind of a bit of a workshop seminar sort of series, four times a year to really just focus on some assemblance of growth and goal setting and you know, kind of living your best life. We do local business mixers, to support local businesses. I mean, every every partner that we have in the community, every event that we do every volunteer opportunity to be engaging, and and especially even the culture that my team exhibits, through their social media through the relationships that they have. It’s all very focused on this idea of, of a community brands of, you know, supporting organizations who support women in you or youth and families, women in leadership and business opportunities. It’s very clear, you know, and so I do think that it’s very important that people and because they can’t read your mind, that you put out the messaging that is the is congruent and is authentic to the way that you want to be perceived in the world.

Alyssa Patmos 53:59
I, one, I – I – because you built so many communities, and remind me of the name of the nonprofit?

Mindy Jones 54:06
Community on Purpose.

Alyssa Patmos 54:08
Okay, that’s what I thought because those were the words that I was about to, as you focus so much about building community on purpose, yes, I feel like there’s a lot especially right now where where we end up in communities where almost where people have to have the same opinions. And to me, there’s so much power in having dialogue and conversation with people who don’t share the same opinion. Like I don’t want to be in community with only people who share the same opinions with me across the board on everything because that would be very boring. It’s like talking to myself. And so I’m just wondering, like, what do you notice in building community on purpose with how you can foster different opinions while still sharing some common purpose?

Unknown Speaker 54:57
I mean, I think so much of this goes back to, what are your core morals and values? What’s important to you? Because I think you do need to be in community with people who uphold those same values. And that doesn’t mean they don’t, by any means mean anything in relation to religion, or even perspective on the world. But the ability to have open and friendly and caring dialogue, and the ability to see the need in connection and then helping others. And, you know, there’s some certain things like, I look at sort of the strategies that I’ve used to build the culture within my team. And none of them have anything to do with all thinking looking or feeling the same way. And in fact, the 12 women on my team, there are so many different I mean, it’s very funny, we have like a group chat. And they’re all different. They’re, they’re all different ages, they’re all into different things, they are all different religions, they have different family structures, like they are so different. And yet there is this massive bonds between them, because I think there’s the common strings. And some of those are things that we’ve built just in our team. And I would say those same characteristics are what I look for in the people I’m community with. First is a general positive attitude, doesn’t mean that you don’t have bad days, but I want to be in business and community with people who are okay getting into the muck, but also want to get back out, you know, I generally am a person who believes everything will work out. And I’m grateful that I have that innate, innate to me, because I think people that don’t life is much harder for them. And so I certainly want to foster that type of an attitude. But I believe it starts with a just a general positive slash grateful attitude. And I always am looking for people that are looking ahead and not just behind. And that’s about being innovative, about thinking about doing things differently about being open to change. And, you know, and again, it doesn’t have to look or sound the same way. But I just think these are general characteristics that I’ve focused on building within my team. And I think in any of the work that I do, are the communities that I want to hold space for, I believe strongly and leading by example, that goes back to being authentic. And I believe strongly in the the ability to empower, and for people to feel like if they don’t have that within themselves, they can find others who have that within themselves. And we can put a microphone, you know, around that. And then you know, the last piece is, is really that idea of gratitude and being being okay with celebrating, kind of the things that we have, I recently did an activity with my team. So we do a huddle Monday and Friday, just to kind of like check in at the beginning of the day and start our kind of mindset off, right. And often I’ll ask them questions about, you know, gratitude, general gratitude, they just think it’s a gratitude practice, I think is very important to have. And, um, you know, but sometimes when you just say, what are you grateful for? Not everybody can come up with something, right? Or you’re like, I’m grateful for my family. And you’re like, yeah, obviously, no. And so I found I just started googling. And I just think this is a really cool list to kind of assemble, but 25 ways to ask about gratitude. And so this last week with my team, I just said, Pick one through 21, you know, number one through 25 each of them, and they pick the number and I just read the question without them, you know, seeing it and said, Okay, this is your question. And they were so much more engaged. And it was so you know, I got such better, deeper, more meaningful answers out of them. And I just would encourage everybody to have some type of a gratitude practice and everything that they do and as you’re holding space and communities have that be a part of whatever it is that you’re building.

Alyssa Patmos 59:11
I love that list. Because I always talk about you know, what we appreciate appreciates. And so a lot of times my gratitude practice is around Okay, what am I appreciating this week? But people often think it’s, you know, gratitude has become such a fluffy word that people think it’s it’s not, it’s just like, okay, yeah, that’s like a buzzword that’s a buzz activity that does it actually help. There’s a lot of research just show it helps. And on top of that, it’s just a way to also show your mind that you can switch what you’re thinking about at any given moment. And the possibility that open that opens up when you’re willing to look at like what you already have, and what you’re grateful for is drastic compared to then sitting in the muck over here, so I love I love that, um, what, since we brought up community on purpose, what is the mission of Community on Purpose just so that people can know?

Mindy Jones 1:00:12
Yeah, so originally, it was, you know, founded and we’re kind of putting our finishing touches on its its opening, if you will, and there will be a podcast that will be launched under the same name, which will feature many women, hopefully, including yourself. But talking about thank you the amazing ways that you’re creating community on purpose as well. But it really started as the philanthropic arm of what we do here at the Amy Jones Group. And so, um, you know, we really wanted a way for our clients and our community members to get engaged with all of the community work that we’ve already been doing. And it helps when we, you know, really had some clarity, like I said, around, you know, women in leadership and business opportunities and supporting programming for youth and families, and also just direct giving through needs that we uncover through the Amy Jones Group platform, obviously, people lose their jobs, and they have to move and, you know, we we uncover a lot of community needs just by way of being in the real estate space. And I think then, from there, we’ll grow into, you know, something that provides education and mentoring opportunities to women who I think are spending a lot of time being disconnected just because they don’t know their pathway back in. And I see a lot of opportunity for women who are in what I would call sort of your high resource need population, and not that there’s enough dollars yet to solve these issues. But I see organizations operating in that space, you know, maybe post DCS issues, maybe post incarceration, and some of those areas where women need really holistic services, not just around coaching and mentoring and education and training, but also a host of other services to ensure long term success. And then I also see a community for women already in existence, for like your sea level. And really corporate based right women and community I think that exists already. I’m really passionate about everybody kind of in between that has just lost connection is not living their biggest life isn’t sure what to do with the time that they have available. And maybe corporate isn’t the right space for them. What is the entrepreneurial path for them? What is the education around community work? If you only have 20 hours a week, you don’t need to build a business, maybe you don’t even need the money? What is the intuition and the insight that you have as a woman that would help work for your, you know, do chamber work, be on a board, go to volunteer at a nonprofit, start a committee at your school, one of my close friends started a diversity and inclusion committee. At first school, I’m like, now that is how you spend your extra time, right? I mean, there’s just but not everybody knows how to do this stuff, or navigate through that world. So I see it growing into something that really helps women create alternative paths for themselves.

Alyssa Patmos 1:03:14
It’s so so so, so needed, I love that – I, the, the dis- the messaging around, being disconnected and finding your way back in is so powerful, because even after my parents got divorced, and you know, my, my mom was fine. And it was it was an amicable divorce for the most part. So it’s it’s not like she had this huge disadvantage. And even even she who was skilled and had worked years before it felt disconnected. And she’s like, I don’t know how to get back into the workforce. And And fortunately, she had put a plan together for herself. But it’s, it’s so I see so many women talking in that way, even, you know, the nine, the three to nine to a year, 12 months after having a baby, you know, like coming back when your life has just had this huge shift. So I love what you’re doing there. And if people want to connect with you and be in your network, what is the best way for them to do that?

Mindy Jones 1:04:19
Yes, I would absolutely love that. And I so appreciate, again, you taking the time to have this conversation for you to even launch a platform that looks like this because I am just so excited for all of the work that you’re doing and the lives that you’re touching. And if people want to do more, I would love to be in conversation with them. And the best way is you can follow our team that’s the Amy Jones Group on Facebook and Instagram. That’s a great way to get a feel for who we are and what we do. And you can also always find me directly my cell phone is 602-451-4975 I’m also on social at Mindy Jones and wood just love to be able to connect in any capacity.

Alyssa Patmos 1:05:03
I love it. I love it. You just gave your cell like people don’t mind anymore. Come find me. I gave myself phone number in an email to my list once just to see I was like here, if you want to call me and no one calls but I and I only did it once, but it just cracks me up because I’m like yes, I want like let’s, let’s talk about it. I love talking about it. Let’s talk about it. Thank you so, so much for being here. I absolutely loved this conversation and I’m just so glad that you were able to join us.

Mindy Jones 1:05:38
Thank you I so appreciate you and best of luck to you.

Alyssa Patmos 1:05:45
You’ve just finished listening to another episode of Make It Mentionable with me, your host, Alyssa Patmos. If you’re looking for more in between episodes, then sign up for The Peel. It’s my free newsletter that gives tips for how to navigate whatever life dishes and it’s also the place where I share the juiciest of stories. To check it out, head on over to Alyssapatmos.com/thepeel. Thank you so much for tuning in, and I’ll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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