How to Craft Your Success

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White picket fences make me want to barf…

But I’ll circle back to that in a second. 

One of the things that drives me absolutely crazy about social media is this seeming collective vision of what success looks like. (Hopping on planes to Bali, finding yourself in the span of a 10-day trip, and then all of a sudden making millions, sporting a “positive vibes only” notebook). 🤢🤮 

Because hard-earned, story-filled wisdom has taught me that chasing someone else’s version of success is the surest path to burnout and will assuredly lead to us never feeling our own success in the depths of our souls. (Dramatic? Yes. But it doesn’t make it any less true). 

You’re allowed to want what you want. No matter what picture someone else is sharing.

There are two obstacles though: 

1. Often, we don’t actually allow ourselves to know what we want or desire. Some of us (🙋‍♀️) learned to cope with traumatic things that happened to us as kids by suppressing our needs. 

2. When all we know how to do is suppress our own needs there is really nothing worse than someone boldly expressing theirs. 

Because the only thing more terrible than not letting yourself express desire is when someone else has the balls 🍒 to do what you wanted to do but are too afraid to do. 

This is the source of many hurtful comments on this place we call the internet and in our relationships.

Because if we haven’t worked to raise our awareness, instead of getting curious, we get judgy af. First with ourselves, (always with ourselves first) and then we project that out onto others. 

Our judgmental voice comes in and tell us any number of completely unhelpful things (kind of like that family member who won’t stop telling you everything they “know” about at Thanksgiving dinner), 

“You’re not good enough” 
“You can’t have that. Don’t bother trying.”
“You’ll never get there.” 

The list goes on and on. 

Instead of getting curious, that voice creeps in and steals the whole damn show.

A better way of dealing with this torrential downpour of unhelpful thoughts stemming from desire suppression and success comparison-itis is to ask ourselves, “what is this showing me about what I want?” Or “how can I bring more of that into my life?”

Don’t be afraid to ask the universe for help. 

What does your version of success look like? Sound like? Taste like? 

Personally, I find white picket fences and the dreams associated with them horrifying. Suburbia is my personal hell. But if that’s your version of success I celebrate it with you. 🎉 We’re not made to agree on everything, that would be boring.

My sounds of success involves hearing many more random sirens and loud noises from my terrace because it means I’m living in the center of downtown. 🏙 

What does success sound like to you? Declare it boldly in the comments. Unleash your desire. Don’t worry, the world can handle it. In fact, we need it. 

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