Alyssa Patmos 0:04
This is Make It Mentionable.
I’m Alyssa Patmos and this is the show about being human in a world that encourages us to be robots.
I invite you to join me as we journey through the mess, the magic and the mania in between.
Because what we can talk about, we can manage.
This honest conversation extravaganza includes free flowing conversations and high doses of vulnerability to remind you that you aren’t alone.
No topic is off limits, and episodes are designed to leave you smarter, aka more self aware than when you came.
I am so glad you’re here.
And welcome back to another episode of Make It Mentionable.
I’m your host, Alyssa, soon to be Alyssa Kalusa.
So if you start to see me transitioning the name around here, that is why.
And let’s see, this is episode 54 of Make It Mentionable.
A Conversation About Thoughts: More Than Just ‘Changing Your Mindset’
And today, we are talking about our thoughts.
And there’s a ton of stuff going around right now around focusing on your mindset and understanding your mindset.
And it’s because what we think about has such a power over our behaviors and over our actions.
Our thoughts are kind of the the story piece that gets put on our emotions and the sensations that we experience out in the world.
So today, we’re talking about how to wrangle our thoughts a little bit better, so that you can experience more clarity in your life, because when we have clarity of vision, it becomes so much easier to move forward, know where to put our focus and know what to ask for.
My New Program: PRISMA
So first things first, though, I have a new program out.
And I want to tell you about it really quick because I’m super stoked about it.
So I hinted at it in last week’s episode, but the program is called Prisma.
And the reason it is called Prisma, is because it’s like a prism.
So if you think of a prism, the light comes in, you have this beam of light that comes in and then it’s refracted in the prism and out the other side comes this rainbow of colors.
And sometimes that is exactly what we need in our lives, where we have this like stream of light, we’re going down the path that we know, and we can’t see clearly, sure we’re doing great things or or we’re moving along like the light is there.
But sometimes we need to step into this container where we can shift things, and we can refract the light and then all of a sudden we can begin to see ourselves clearly we can begin to see our next decision clearly pieced out in these seven different different colors, these seven different dimensions.
And that is what we’re doing inside Prisma.
It’s a new 45 Day accelerator to help you see yourself and your next decision clearly.
So you come with whatever you’ve got going on the table, maybe you have had the same idea in a notebook for three years.
How Your Mind Is Like A Prism
And you’re finally like, how do I move forward on this, we get to the bottom of what is keeping you from moving forward so that you can actually see the route in front of you.
Maybe you have been waffling between, hey, do I keep wanting to date do I keep? Do I want to keep dating this guy?
I’m not sure is either one is the right for me. Guy, girl, whoever, if you want to, if you want to see your next decision, clearly come join me inside Prisma, six weeks, and it’s guaranteed to get you clear on that next move forward.
Alright, so thoughts, this, this all ties into Prisma as well, because so much of the methods that we see out there are at the surface, they’re speaking to our conscious minds with strategies and logic and habits, and all of these productivity hacks, which are great.
Going Under The Surface And Engaging The Subconscious Mind
But if you have something going on under the surface, in your subconscious mind that is preventing you from adopting those strategies from practicing better habits from employing the productivity hacks that you’re seeing everywhere around you that you you know, but for some reason, it’s just really freaking hard to implement.
Your Mind As An Iceberg
Alyssa Patmos 4:38
It can be because there’s something going on in your subconscious. And we don’t talk about that as much.
We don’t talk about this other layer of our humanity. And if you think about you know, there’s there’s a typical metaphor of the iceberg.
And there’s the tip of the iceberg that’s above the water, and you can see it and you know what It’s there.
And what you don’t always know is how deep the iceberg goes underneath the surface of the water.
I used this analogy and brand strategy for years and years and years where it was like the top of the water are the things people see like your logo, your brand, the message you put out there.
But underneath the water, there’s there’s all the deeper stuff like, what do you value? What beliefs are you bringing to the table? What do you want more of in life.
And this iceberg is relevant across every area of our life, especially when it comes to our thoughts and our personal growth.
Because there’s what people see, there’s what we put out to the world, how we show up the clothes we wear, the things we say, how we do for work, all of these things that it’s easy for people to see.
But there are so many, there’s so much depth underneath the surface that other people can’t see.
And oftentimes, we can’t even see ourselves.
The Root Of Miscommunication
And that’s, that’s where a lot of miscommunication comes in.
That’s where a lot of hurt and are suffering as humans come in.
Because if we can’t see it, then we don’t know how to be honest with ourselves.
And then therefore, we can’t be fully honest with people around us.
And that causes strife across the board, maybe it causes turmoil at work, like you don’t really know why you feel gross and feel like you’re reverting to elementary school, when your boss talks to you, you just know it’s a thing.
Or maybe in your relationship, like you’re getting triggered, and you don’t really totally know what the fight is about.
But you have an inkling that it might not actually be about the dishes.
And it’s these things that are happening beneath the surface that if we don’t learn to pay attention to them, they rule our lives.
And so how, how do we start paying attention to our subconscious thoughts and beliefs.
And there’s other things that are just lurking underneath the surface.
The Role Of Parts Work
One of the ways is through parts.
And we’ve talked about parts, so many times on this show, but I will talk about parts until the day I die, most likely because they are a game changer.
We all have parts of ourselves hidden below the surface that are our versions of ourselves that totally they didn’t fully develop, they didn’t totally have their their needs met.
And as a result, they adopt coping strategies. And therefore we adopt coping strategies that aren’t always the healthiest.
And so one of the ways we start to pay attention to what’s happening in the subconscious is paying attention to our parts.
So it’s really, really important to tune into, okay, if you’re at work, and it’s like, Oh, I feel like this has to be perfect right now.
And you feel like you’re catapulted back to that time when you just had to be a straight A student, or, you know, maybe you’re in a conversation and you just go mute.
And normally you’re an outspoken person. So why are you going mute right now, but you just feel like, silenced. Maybe you even like feel something going on in your throat.
There can be parts of us that adopt these strategies, so that we can get along and get our needs met in life, you know, maybe you got the message to to obey.
I mean, there was an entire song that I learned growing up in the church around obeying your parents and listening to the words that they say, obey your parents every day.
And know like yes, we want to respect our parents and and you know, listen to things that that are going to help keep us alive. But that completely discourages critical thinking.
And so if you’ve learned similar messages around like, okay, just obey don’t think for yourself, like, just go along, go with the flow, then maybe you did it develop a piece of you that learned that it’s just better to be silent.
Maybe you you had a coach that was you know, just always harping on you and you were never good enough.
And as a kid you were trying your best and and you were trying and you you thought you were doing a good job, and then you just had this coach who was harping on you and it constantly felt like you could just never be good enough.
Alyssa Patmos 9:41
And so, if those things are happening under the surface, there is no way that it’s going to be resistance free to adopt some new productivity hack that you learned on Instagram, or there’s no way where you’re just going to be able to create a new habit and and so Stick with it without feeling resistance, or, or, or feeling the full commitment of, yes, this is this is right for me, because we have these subconscious patterns going on.
So parts are one way that that comes up.
The Role Of Our Deeply-Held Beliefs
And other times it’s just beliefs like, like parts kind of come up some of the time, like maybe part of the time you feel like being quiet.
But other times you feel like, oh, yeah, I’m the loudest person in the room.
Beliefs, on the other hand, are something that we can feel all the time, like, they come up all the time, and they can run our lives.
Like if you have an underlying belief that you’re not worthy of making more than x amount, which this has happened with a client of mine in the past, she had this whole story about how she didn’t feel worthy of making more than a certain amount because of messages, she was told when she landed this big job in her early 20s.
And so if you walk around with that belief, then, of course, you’re not going to be able to create this scenario where you’re doing more than that, because you have this underlying driver, that’s like putting the brakes on anytime you get close to it.
Our beliefs shape, our actions, and our actions end up shaping our results.
And so if we’re not paying attention to the beliefs that are operating under the surface, then we’re missing out, we’re missing out on living into our fullest potential and experiencing the growth on this human journey that we that we could be.
So other beliefs that can get in the way are things like, you know, it’s small messages, like maybe your family constantly talked about hard work in a certain way.
And so you just feel like, everything has to be difficult.
And if you feel like everything has to be difficult, because you were sent messages that work is always hard.
Or you have to struggle to get what you want, then maybe you don’t trust when things are more simple.
Maybe you don’t trust when you’re freaking crushing it. And it feels like it’s flowing along simply because of this underlying belief that you have that work needs to be hard all the time.
These are the ways that our subconscious thoughts, beliefs, patterns, parts of ourselves, end up shaping what happens to us in in our lives.
And there’s the outer world, there’s the outer work, things that we can adopt to continually improve.
But there’s also moments when we need to turn inward and do the inner work that allows us to create more of what we want in the outer world.
If we only operate at the conscious level constantly, we’re missing out on what is fully underneath that iceberg.
And to only pay attention to the top, you’re not going to know that there’s risk underneath the water.
So these are some of the things that I absolutely adore. Helping people with it is the foundation of my coaching practice.
And this is what we’re covering inside Prisma my new 45 Day accelerator to help you see your decision and yourself.
Clearly, we are going beneath the iceberg. These are not practices that you’ve heard before.
Going Beneath The Iceberg With PRISMA
Alyssa Patmos 13:31
That stay at the surface and just like okay, create a vision board know, we’re going underneath to look at what’s getting in the way of you being able to tap in to your true clarity of vision.
So if that’s something that interests you, if this conversation is something that interests you, I encourage you to check out Prisma, head on over to Alyssa Patmos.com/Prisma We start in two weeks, I cannot wait to have you there.
And and if you’re like okay, this conversation has sparked some things for me.
And I want to go a little bit deeper.
One Question To Start Asking Yourself
One of my favorite favorite ways to start tapping into this stuff is just to become an observer and start to notice what thoughts are on repeat and write them down.
And then just ask yourself What about this thought feels familiar? Because here, that question, ‘what about this feels familiar?’ opens up maybe beliefs that you were told when you were little or or beliefs that you developed when you were older when some trial happened.
It can also open up parts parts of ourselves that might be like, it feels familiar to this full golf version of me or it feels familiar to to when I was in college and X thing happened What about this feels familiar?
That is a question that begins to unlock and give you a portal to these subconscious dimensions that secretly and covertly end up shaping our lives.
Thank you so much for tuning in.
This has been another episode of Make It Mentionable.
I will catch you next week.
You’ve just finished listening to another episode of Make It Mentionable with me, your host Alyssa Patmos.
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Transcribed by https://otter.ai