Recently, Alexandra Jamieson aired a podcast on Bitch Brain. It’s a concept of hers that I’ve come to LOVE.
Bitch Brain is the negative self-talk that enters our stream of consciousness all too often.
Like when we try on a swimsuit in the not-so-well-lit Target dressing rooms, and suddenly we see just how much cellulite is hiding on the backs of our legs. Or when we have to buy size 6 shorts when we think we should be in a size 4 just to get them over our not-mannequin-thin hips. Hello, belt life.
It’s in these moments we hear Bitch Brain coming out from her corner, chiming in to antagonize us. “Oh my gosh, our ass is WAY too big. You shouldn’t have eaten that last peanut butter cup.”
Or, “Do you see that girl over there? You should have arms like her.”
It makes it virtually impossible to truly love ourselves when Bitch Brain can pipe up with such nasty commentary whenever she damn well pleases.
What’s clear if you talk to any woman is that giving Bitch Brain a voice has become a habit for many of us.
In the episode, she suggested that listeners write 10 things they love about their bodies.
Before putting fingers to keyboard, I asked myself if I needed to do this? Couldn’t I easily list off 10 things I love about myself? Two things I’ve loved about myself since I was five came to mind instantly, my hair and eyes. Next, the fact that I have a booty. After that I had to pause and pull up my notes app, realizing this would probably be a good exercise for me.
Out of nowhere, “the birthmark on my hip” popped into my head followed by, “that my body is strong enough to carry me through a workout.”
It took me about 10 minutes to come up with 10 things. Bitch Brain showed her spirit a few times telling me, “You can’t actually write that, you don’t have good feet, and you desperately need a pedicure.” To her I said, “Bitch, please” and wrote it down anyway.
There’s another voice deep within us that emanates love. She’s way more helpful, positive, and loving than Bitch Brain. She’s the voice that knows what we need. Until we understand how to harness her though, it can be easy for her to get trampled. She is our biggest cheerleader, she just needs some practice before she’s at the top of the pyramid.
When I listened to her, I quite liked what she had to say about me. Here’s my list:
10 Things I Love About My Body
- My eyes.
- My hair.
- That I have a booty, even if I wish it had fewer dimples.
- The birthmark on my hip.
- That it is strong enough to carry me through a workout.
- I feel like I have good feet.
- My long legs.
- My long fingers.
- The freckle on my nose.
- My breasts (yep, I said that).
Given that fact that I’m in pain frequently I have a tendency to say things like, “My body hates me.” Writing this list reframed my thinking on that almost instantly. My body doesn’t hate me. It’s telling me something is wrong, and I need to pay attention. It’s working overtime to figure out what’s happening before it’s too late or even more serious. So I’ll be dropping “my body hates me” from my vocabulary permanently.
What do you find yourself saying all too often? How does your Bitch Brain take over?
We ALL have attributes that make us sexy creatures. Alex said another great line in this podcast, “when you compare there’s nothing left but to despair.” I know, I know, your mom, boyfriend, sister, BFF, and grandma tell you to stop comparing yourself all the time. I’ll be the first to say that’s a hard habit to kick, so try forming a new one.
Arm yourself with things you love about yourself, so when Bitch Brain turns on, you can turn around and say, “Bitch, Please”.